Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Rabble Roost

Howdy is such a bad way to start almost anything where you need to sound remotely intelligent, so lets go with Hello.


The rabble Roost, my wonderful once a week radio show is going to be put on hiatus for a few months or maybe longer. I am coaching lacrosse again this year and just dont have time for my regular work job, lax, and the radio show time slot. I could easily pick up another timeslot but it would all but eliminate my East Coast listeners because of the time zone difference. So just bear with me as I figure out how to go to the next step.

My plan is to do a one to two hour, once or twice a week, podcast that I would put on this blog. I dont know all the FCC regulations and if they really care if some mope got himself a blogspot name and 15 of his friends lsiten to him ramble twice a week. But who knows, it always seems the government cares more about what they shouldnt then what they should.

Until then, I will be doing some mixtapes and whatnots that I will put up, so check on back regularly and maybe I can keep turning you on to some new tunes.

Rabble Roosters unite!

Friday, January 22, 2010

A few thoughts on "Lost"

OK so I hate to admit it but I have watched every episode of the first four seasons of lost. I know what you are thinking already. "So what Noah? Millions of people are in the same oat." Well I am a guy who hasn't regularly watched TV for years and years, or even owned one in many moon cycles for that matter. So for me to watch roughly 98 episodes at 43 minutes a piece really bums me out, having devoted over 70 hours of my existence to Matthew Fox and friends.

The thing that really gets me is how the whole time these gumps are trying to escape this island I am trying to escape the grips of Lost myself. I find the title Lost to be quite a perfect title, because the viewer is indeed Lost as well as the incredibly well fed deserted islanders. I mean after almost every completely obvious :twist" they throw in I say to myself, usually out loud, screw this show I am done. Then the episode ends and I click next on my netflix browser and watch the next episode. I thought the whole time too that there were only four seasons, now I found out there is a fifth and a sixth season and I am completely torn. Do I give another couple days of my life to ABC which i will never get back or do I give up and never find out if the happy go lucky islanders will ever get rescued.

If it was on Showtime, or HBO, or any of those networks it would be sooo much better because all the people are attractive and at least they could cuss and show some flesh every once in a while.

Until they make the switch to another network i may just put it on hiatus, or I might just crack another beer and see if they start eating each other. We can only hope...

Wasting away in Pabstville

Thank you musicians, good and bad, for it is you that make everyday a little more interesting. Sitting in the office = lame. Sitting in the office blaring Monotonix so loud that no co-worker wants to come anywhere near your desk for fear of half naked Israeli's = awesome.

It is a soundtrack for everyday occurrences, a personal John Williams but with more energy. Feeling gloomy? Crank up some energetic world beats. Feeling super stoked? Throw on that Wu-tang and proceed to fist pump until you pull a bicep.

Seriously though, how can you trust anyone who just sits around all day and night with no muzak. What is the deal with that, maybe if the Unibomber had a little more Dusty Springfield in his life then he would have become a gym teacher instead of a "terrorist" ever consider that? Oh well, at least it keeps all the shows from selling out too fast for little ol me to score tickets, well in theory anyway. I have a real hard time buying tickets on time to see the shows I want to go to. I will get super excited and plan around going to a show for weeks without ever buying tickets only to have it show up and me drowning my tears in a Pabst.

In other related areas, people seem to be reaching too far for creative and/or original band names these days. Do you really want you band to succeed? Well then you probably shouldn't name it "Condo Fucks" or "Star Fucking Hipsters" or "Fuck buttons." Just avoid curses in your band name if you want to have even a remote possibility of mainstream success. Or if that is not your thing maybe just go a more obvious route and call your band "Fucked before we started" or "Shot my career in the foot" or "Doomed from the beginning."

Of course if you really want to make your band fail you could always put out the traditional horrible band picture.

Where are these guys? Right outside the high school gym with a borrowed computer chair, jeebus at least put on some non under shirts. These guys are shooting for the stars for sure.

Oh well, I am off to go out back by the dumpster and shoot promo shots for my new band "Fuck patrol" I think we have a big appeal to a lot of markets.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Facebook woes

Why do you have 800 friends and you are constantly asking "what is going on tonight?" If you have that many friends shouldnt you be the one everyone asks what is going on tonight? I mean seriously what the hell is the point in having that many virtual friends, are you still stuck in the myspace days of befriending everyone that crosses your path on a daily basis.

Its almost like:

Friend request: "I think I saw you walking by my house the other day"
Friend request: "We were born in the same hospital in 1974"

C'mon people, lets get real and live in the actual world. Holy crap.

Another thing I will hereby always be referring to Twitter as Twatter, Twitter is an absolute joke and should be disbanded. I dont care how angered you are by traffic, guess what, I am in traffic too. Oh you left your grandmoms and you are driving back to your house, great thanks for the update. If it is relevant post it, sure I have no problem with that. Some celebtrity went tits up and you want to get bragging rights as being the first to twat about it, go ahead. Dont litter the interweb with mindless babble about how bad the person sleeping on the street smells.

In hindsight, I guess it is the same as this blog. Except I have infinite space where you only get 140 characters. Noah:1 Twatter:0.

A dollar late and a day short

Okie dokie, so it is 2010...

Got it? Good now lets move on.

I have a new idea for this blog as long as I can keep it up. I will post random musings from my head everyday, some will pertain to bicycling and its culture and some (err most) will not.

First off, Hipsters can throw a friggin house party:

Seriously, its like everyone who wished house parties could live forever and not just during our college/high school/special events days all moved to Portland just to house party. It is always the number one option to me when trying to decide what to do in my nocturnal free time. Its like asking Popeye what he wants as a side dish, the answer will always be the same. New years eve however gets to debut a whole new level of house partiness. Its the night where everyone wants to party. I mean everyone, and this generally leads to a generally good time had by all and for all. Now why do hipsters throw the best house parties?

- Their parents are usually loaded meaning they live in a bomb ass house.

- They dont work so the house has to be set up to be in 24/7

- Hipsters love to surround themselves with hipsters, so add in a lot of them and tons of people show up

- They drink cheap beer and lots of whiskey, two of my key ingredients for a successful party.

- Every hipster is a DJ or artist, so there is always loud music and live art.

- No matter how ridiculous you look or drunk you get there is always someone worse off.

- You dont have to worry about them hitting on your girlfriend (unless your girlfriend is a hipster, loves hipsters, or dresses like a pre-teen boy)

So add all this together and you get one fine event. No one looks at you funny for doing something odd, or how badly you dance, or how horribly you smell, because well I think I already stated this one.

So my one public New Years resolution is to give all the hipsters a break. I get called a hipster quite often and I was ashamed by it, but now in 2010 I will embrace the moniker. If anything it means I can throw one hell of a house party.

Lets kick off 2010 right people. Now get out there and cause some mayhem.