Friday, January 22, 2010

Wasting away in Pabstville

Thank you musicians, good and bad, for it is you that make everyday a little more interesting. Sitting in the office = lame. Sitting in the office blaring Monotonix so loud that no co-worker wants to come anywhere near your desk for fear of half naked Israeli's = awesome.

It is a soundtrack for everyday occurrences, a personal John Williams but with more energy. Feeling gloomy? Crank up some energetic world beats. Feeling super stoked? Throw on that Wu-tang and proceed to fist pump until you pull a bicep.

Seriously though, how can you trust anyone who just sits around all day and night with no muzak. What is the deal with that, maybe if the Unibomber had a little more Dusty Springfield in his life then he would have become a gym teacher instead of a "terrorist" ever consider that? Oh well, at least it keeps all the shows from selling out too fast for little ol me to score tickets, well in theory anyway. I have a real hard time buying tickets on time to see the shows I want to go to. I will get super excited and plan around going to a show for weeks without ever buying tickets only to have it show up and me drowning my tears in a Pabst.

In other related areas, people seem to be reaching too far for creative and/or original band names these days. Do you really want you band to succeed? Well then you probably shouldn't name it "Condo Fucks" or "Star Fucking Hipsters" or "Fuck buttons." Just avoid curses in your band name if you want to have even a remote possibility of mainstream success. Or if that is not your thing maybe just go a more obvious route and call your band "Fucked before we started" or "Shot my career in the foot" or "Doomed from the beginning."

Of course if you really want to make your band fail you could always put out the traditional horrible band picture.

Where are these guys? Right outside the high school gym with a borrowed computer chair, jeebus at least put on some non under shirts. These guys are shooting for the stars for sure.

Oh well, I am off to go out back by the dumpster and shoot promo shots for my new band "Fuck patrol" I think we have a big appeal to a lot of markets.

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